10 Things I'm glad that we didnt have growing up

      Nostalgia can be a hell of a drug and can sometimes lead to a delusional view of the "good ole days" While this kind of thinking can hinder growth and progress, its also important to realize the sociological impact that the things in our society have on us. I'm not saying I don't like some of these things, I'm just saying that I'm glad I got to experience part of my life without them. Here are a list of things i'm glad werent around when I was growing up.

  1. Reality TV

Some people think that entertainment and media is a reflection of a society's culture. Others believe that entertainment and media actually controls the direction of society's culture. Either way, the stuff that is mainstream will eventually define your generation. Whether it's Andy Griffith, The Brady Bunch or Seinfeld it is easy to distinguish the character traits of people that grew up watching these shows. With that being said I would much rather have my generation defined by Seinfeld, Friends, and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air than I would Honey Boo Boo, Dance Moms, and Jersey Shore. My generations' sitcoms may depict a very selfish individualistic society, but I will take that over the borderline retarded slobs that are stars on today's reality shows. I want my MTV and I want it with music videos, not reality shows.

2. Bounce Houses

For generations adults have been trying to figure out a way to create the ultimate hamster wheel for kids. First they tried the seesaw, then it was a carousel, but now they have found the most humane way to put kids in a cage in the form of a bounce house. This is the ultimate hamster wheel for kids. I have no problem with the bounce house per say, but more of a problem with how often they are used. Every event I go to I see kids in bounce houses. For the parents this is the great escape from kids that they don't know how to make behave in public. They throw kids into the bounce house like its some kind of miniature insane asylum. Is every memory your kid has going to be about jumping around in a bounce house? " remember that festival we took you to when you were 7 and you jumped in the bounce house for 2 hours" or "how about your 2nd grade birthday party where we invited your friends over and rented a bounce house?" You know what I remember about one of my birthday parties? punching each other in the face!

 

3. Online Gaming

 X-box live and other online gaming networks are awesomely addicting. It is so awesome that I'm glad they weren't available when I was growing up. I can't imagine what it would be like growing up with a network of friends that were all online playing these games. I may not have ever participated in sports at all. When you have this kind of entertainment at your finger tips it would really be hard to motivate yourself to spend hours in the sun playing pick-up basketball. This would have hurt my social skills so much that I probably wouldn't even know how to talk to a girl much less date one. What used to be a fun activity when it was dark or the weather was bad is now like a sport itself. The games are competitive and complex rather than fun. We had our own fun with video games when we were teens with split screen multiplayer and system link, but now the games are so much less personal. The youth of today will never know what its like to have a chair thrown at them for talking trash. sad world.

4. Flavored Vodka

If the machines of the future ever decide that I am the last hope for the human race they won't need to send a terminator back in time to eliminate me. They will only have to send a bottle of flavored vodka. As a responsible adult I can enjoy the pleasures of flavored vodka without becoming a drunkard. If I was in my prime drinking age I don't think I could accomplish this. Getting drunk as a youth was hard work. You had to drink the cheap stuff that was absolutely terrible. It wasn't nearly as hard to know when to stop because the dreadful burn of heaven hills vodka would limit your intake. If you wanted something that actually tasted good you had to drink Boon's Farm or Zima and those drinks weren't very strong and nobody wanted to live with that embarrassment. Today alcohol ambitious youth have the option to drink vodka that tastes like cotton candy. That's just dangerous. How this hasn't already killed an entire generation of teens and young adults is beyond my comprehension. Maybe they are still stuck in a bounce house or sitting in front of the TV playing X-box Live.

5. UFC

This may be a surprise to many considering I am one of the biggest mixed martial arts fans that I know, but I'm really glad it wasn't around when I was growing up. UFC was around in 1993, but it didn't explode into the mainstream until 2005. Mma is the pinnacle of mixing sports and violence and I would have hated to miss the other stuff that mma has replaced. If UFC would have been popular nobody would have cared about the great "Attitude" era of the WWF and the Monday Nitro vs Raw rating wars that brought out some amazing television entertainment. Nobody would have even noticed Roy Jones Jr's awesome boxing career. Nobody would go to the fairgrounds to watch the local tough man competition. Even my back yard boxing would have been lame in comparison to monthly cage fighting on pay per view. I'm glad UFC is here and mma is the fastest growing sport in the world, but I can appreciate the life before over saturated sports violence. And that's the bottom line cause somebody on a blog said so.

 

6. $3 gasoline

This is a no brainer. Nobody would trade $3 gasoline for $1 gasoline, but it would have been a lot harder when I was 16 than it is now. Do you remember how you found people before cell phones? you drove to all the places you think they might be. This was never much of a problem with $1.25 gasoline. My grandpa would give me $20 a week for gas and I would only use half! but triple that price and this would have become a major
problem.

7. The Duck Face

Remember that time people got so narcissistic taking cell phone selfies that they got tired of their own faces and started turning them inside out? Yea, that time is right about now. I remember a more simple time when girls smiled in pictures. I'm not really sure where we go from here, but don't just assume that the smile will return. The smile may have run it's course. If you look at those old black and white family photos nobody ever smiled. People may eventually start putting their entire fist in their mouths when they pose for pictures and with the way America's diet habits are they just might fit.

8. Facebook 

Many people wish this would go away right now, but Im pretty sure social networks are here to stay. I think the world is pretty fortunate that I didn't have access to such an arena of communication before I became an adult. I would really hate to look back and see what my courageously stupid younger self would have posted. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have many friends right now. Political correctness had not completely enslaved society yet so it would have been pretty uncensored. Not being constantly connected to a grid is also a good memory. When is the last time you met someone and then never heard from them again? Think about how crazy that is. We once lived in a world where people could be in relationships for years and then part from each other and never see or hear about that person ever again. That's almost impossible now. We are all connected and as long as you are on the network you will be connected for life. Glad I know what it was like before the control grid.

9. Portable DVD players for kids

"My kid can't stay focused or pay attention in school" Oh really? was it maybe because you threw their ass in front of a TV screen every time you got in a car? Kids do not need to be constantly entertained every second of the day. When kids cry, parents just put them in front of a TV to distract them instead teaching them them patience and self control. They need to learn to be still and be silent at appropriate times. This is lazy parenting and it's killing the ability of your kids to think and use their imagination. I'm not talking about a 2 hour road trip. I'm talking about a 15 minute drive to the grocery store. Give these kids a coloring book.  Even toys and gadgets are better than just mindlessly staring at a screen with no interaction. We are raising a generation of attention starved youth that have absolutely no creativity and this is part of the reason.

10. Twerking

 I really am at a loss for words on this particular subject. I'm not really sure where sexually provocative dance evolves from here. Twerking has come a long way from "I put my hand upon your I hip, when I dip you dip we dip" and I am a little scared to see what is around the corner.